you know, what i wrote before, rei, junya, these people aren't important in my life. don't think i lost sight of who i am, and i'm really saying it to myself. none of these thngs matter in the end.

life is a fucked up thing, at least for me. it's just suffering and a series of ridiculous shit. so i'm just waiting. there's no lov, no luck, no light, no beauty. only chemical reactions and marketing schemes.

there's no light, anwhere. i would go already if.. i don't know i guess i still feel something at the idea of me in my last minutes. and my pride of what's left of it, it won't let me accept the idea of struggling to just stay a little more. i wish it'd be like the end of breaking bad but i still haven't destroyed everything in my life yet, and it seems like a lot of work from here..

this really isn't what i thought it would be.